Got to ask the planets...
A lot of mommy bloggers are talking about some parent's indifference to their kid's actions especially when the kid is out hurting other children physically. I have noticed this too. Though the father atleast apologize to you in case he notices his kid behaving badly, the mother is just mum about it...Guys...Now dont give me the bullshit that mothers dont do it because of love, thats nonsense! I was under the impression that moms tolerate their kid's behaviour only when the kids are young and when the kids grow old, the moms give kids some spanking as and when they deserve. Or atleast thats how the 70s-80s born kids were raised. I remember how my mom scolded me when I sulked talking to my uncle and aunt while I was in 6th class. She told me how important it was to be respectful to everyone and she stressed on phone and host-etiquettes so much.
During a trip to India this year I was really surprised by my relative kid's behaviour(the boy is 15 so I dont know whether I should address him as a kid) I had got them a Lamp from IKEA for their new house and I gave it to the kid's mother. Before she could retort "thanks", this kid comes to the scene and asks his mother "What is this?" When the boy's mother told him that it was a lamp which I had got them from the US, the kid retorts "Aamaam...periya lightu...idhulla enna irukku" (Huh, whats the big deal about it? Its afterall a light) I was shell shocked and stared at the kid and looked at his mom waiting for her to correct him or ask him to apologize. NOPE! She just did not say anything. I was shocked. I wanted to tell that boy then and there that he needs to be respectful to elders but considering the fact that there were elders in the house who watched the whole thing but still sat mum, I did not say anything.
Later when asked the kid's mom about this incident, she denied the fact that such a thing happened. I did not talk about it to her further but no sooner this happened, the kid started imitating me, the way I told his neighbour "I live in Los Angeles". At this juncture the kid's mother told the kid "Dont do like this...don't you know Anusha does not like it?" Uff...She just did not correct the kid saying that its bad to behave like that to anyone. She just asked him not to behave like that with me just because I did not like it...God save that kid! I dont know what to say about such parents. This boy's mother and her family make the excuse that this kid's horoscope is like that and he does not study/behave well because of planet's position(Got to ask Mars and Jupiter abt it :)...) and he will be a big guy when he is around 35-36. What bullshit? Its a sad thing to realise that some parents dont want to correct kids, and dont want to instill some ideals and values in them. They dont realise the importance of educating kids about etiquette, phone manners, hospitality to guests etc. They dont realise that the kid might get into trouble if he continues to behave badly, he/she would get serious spanking in work places.
During a trip to India this year I was really surprised by my relative kid's behaviour(the boy is 15 so I dont know whether I should address him as a kid) I had got them a Lamp from IKEA for their new house and I gave it to the kid's mother. Before she could retort "thanks", this kid comes to the scene and asks his mother "What is this?" When the boy's mother told him that it was a lamp which I had got them from the US, the kid retorts "Aamaam...periya lightu...idhulla enna irukku" (Huh, whats the big deal about it? Its afterall a light) I was shell shocked and stared at the kid and looked at his mom waiting for her to correct him or ask him to apologize. NOPE! She just did not say anything. I was shocked. I wanted to tell that boy then and there that he needs to be respectful to elders but considering the fact that there were elders in the house who watched the whole thing but still sat mum, I did not say anything.
Later when asked the kid's mom about this incident, she denied the fact that such a thing happened. I did not talk about it to her further but no sooner this happened, the kid started imitating me, the way I told his neighbour "I live in Los Angeles". At this juncture the kid's mother told the kid "Dont do like this...don't you know Anusha does not like it?" Uff...She just did not correct the kid saying that its bad to behave like that to anyone. She just asked him not to behave like that with me just because I did not like it...God save that kid! I dont know what to say about such parents. This boy's mother and her family make the excuse that this kid's horoscope is like that and he does not study/behave well because of planet's position(Got to ask Mars and Jupiter abt it :)...) and he will be a big guy when he is around 35-36. What bullshit? Its a sad thing to realise that some parents dont want to correct kids, and dont want to instill some ideals and values in them. They dont realise the importance of educating kids about etiquette, phone manners, hospitality to guests etc. They dont realise that the kid might get into trouble if he continues to behave badly, he/she would get serious spanking in work places.
posted by Ananya S P at 12:20 PM
12 Comments:
Well said i have noticed d same case wit many of neighbour kids in chennai they jus dont care a damn abt others, i think they learn this frm their parents who treats others in the same way.. poor fostering i wud say..
This is very bad indeed.. its even more of a crap when they take help from astrology to support his behaviour. Even now I could feel the slap from my mom I got when I was around 12 for what appears to be something very trivial now.
> Though the father atleast apologize to you in case he notices his kid behaving badly, the mother is just mum about it...
- this is very interesting.. in our case, i have never seen my wife keep mum abt it if our 2 yr old goes off the track.
That must be some bully brahmin kid.
poor kid ....i only pity him
Anusha,
Why do you fret so much over a kid's behaviour especially when the kid is not yours ? He will learn to behave through his experiences and the lessons learned in life. Parents cannot be held responsible for everything that their children do or don't do. you can only lead the horse to the pond but cannot make it drink water.
Times have changed and we cannot expect all to be taught as we were or behave as we did.
There is no dearth of rude,impudent people on our planet. we cannot afford to bother about reforming all of them. Life teaches lessons that you cannot possibly create.
Will you visit them again with anything at all ?
In the time you have been in Orange County what is your assessment of the demeanour of children in that community ?
well, if the world is perfect it would be boring. We need its dose of imperfect parents and imperfect kids!:)
Maybe once your star positions become right, you'll meet good parents and kids.;-) What say you?
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i guess it is all about exposure and upbringing
better kids learn at home than from outsiders
Gifting is a practise I detest. Anything more than fruits is very harmful because most of the time it is associated with wrong thoughts atleast during the buying process. However I do receive and send gifts for the sake of it. I wish everyone just stops short of greeting and bringing fruits to show their love while visiting. This way the reciprocation is also easier irrespective of financial positions.
Just my opinion. My wife differs as might all women.
i've had a college friend of mine who well replicates the same characteristic trait. no respect to elders or to us too! when i say 'us' i mean my classmates and friends, i dont expect too big a respect, but what someone of her age requires/deserves. i would blame her brought-up only for this. i'm sorry to say that she belongs to brahmin category and i've seen lot more of this who all belong to d same category. i dont stress on this point that kids of this kind are brahmins, but whomever i've come across are from tis social category which made me have an impression that only brahmin kids are like this! and another thing, kids from pretty high class (rich) are like this, even the parents are same. God knows where these ppl r heading to!
Well, the poor kid is not brought up properly. But it should be because the parents were not brought up properly. If only they know what is wrong, they can educate their kids. Which means the mistake is not in present, but 20 years before. So to say that people in 70's are brought up in different way is wrong! Mistakes spreads through generation and will not start all of a sudden from a particular generation.
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